3 months ago I wrote bout the one month bonus that company declared. Well, it's finally come to the time for annual review, and needless to say, the results are out.
No specific details; all I can say is..it's a very bittersweet feeling that I have right now. Bitter, because when I do the math and look at my peers, this is not a bonus that has cause for celebration. Yet Sweet, because when I think back to the beginning when I worried about whether we would receive anything at all, I realize my fears have proven unfounded.
"I shall be content" I think to myself. "I shall be happy" I repeat to myself. Yet..a tinge of longing always remains. I've learnt not to fight it now - there is no shame in being weak, only shame in being weak enough not to admit our weakness. Ive learnt to embrace all my flaws, like a ball and chain that slows me down as I run a race. I could give up, I could say it's not fair, since what chance is there to finish first in a race so biased and handicapped? But I soldier on, for my accomplishments are my own, and none can take it away from me.
I'm sorry Coz I know I sound like I'm talking in riddles. Unfortunately I can't be totally open with everyone on the web. I just need to pencil some thoughts..put to words to remind myself..Never give up, Never lose faith, Never forget God.
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